As much as I hate the stereotype that nerds are hopeless at romance (and social life in general) today’s SMBC comic cracked me up:
At first it seemed like an example of the conjunction fallacy, in which people think the general conditions are less likely than a more specific example of the conditions. (That’s mathematically impossible.) But the comic isn’t about probability, it’s about utility. And you know, it’s not just a GIVEN that owning the world has net positive utility! It would be extraordinarily time-consuming to rule the world.
Yeah, I know, it’s a stretch.
And I’m forced to plead guilty to a similar situation. A number of years back, a girl I was dating told me she worried sometimes that she liked me more than I liked her. My unthinking response at the time was, “Well, it’s unlikely to be exactly equal. Someone has to like the other more.”
…
I’ve gotten much better since then.
If only I’d heard of the Maxims of Conversation earlier:
Quantity:
- Say no less than the conversation requires.
- Say no more than the conversation requires.
Quality:
- Don’t say what you believe to be false.
- Don’t say things for which you lack evidence.
Manner:
- Don’t be obscure.
- Don’t be ambiguous.
- Be brief.
- Be orderly.
Relevance:
- Be relevant.
We tend to assume that people are following these maxims in conversation. While my reply is true in a strict sense, it implied a whole lot more.
Ah well, live and learn.